The Official Bristol Rovers Match Thread (Sponsored by Ozempic "for all your (weight) management needs")

An improvement in performance levels against the Swine on Tuesday night saw us come away with nothing yet again as the same intrinsic issues came to the fore, a total inability to put the ball in the net and liberal concession of goals requiring minimal opposition effort. GA was all smiles afterwards and apparently the future looks bright, even if the present still looks bleak.

Arriving at Priestfield today with a sack of salt to gleefully rub in our open wounds is our former manager and Slimmer of the Year, Steve Evans. The ex-blimp turned "swimming advocate" (an unfair jab...) arrived at the Gas in December, at which point the Bristolian side was on a truly abysmal run of form and down in 22nd. As is his wont, he brought in nine new players and has steadied the ship, achieving seven wins from 18 to lift them away from a genuine relegation battle. The owners better have the chequebook ready for his summer spree as he looks upwards to League One.

Our team line-up for today? Currently written on folded paper strips and awaiting the draw from GA's party fez. Injuries? Any and all and none apparently, as bullshit bingo hots up once more. Young Waldock has done a decent job since being yeeted in the deep end, Dack will struggle to deliver 90 minutes having been involved in midweek and...oh it doesn't really matter, does it? Season's done and we're all just going through the motions until this nonsense finally grinds to halt in May. The team generator will select a side, we'll play as though running through treacle and likely come away with very little to show for our ponderous efforts. C'est la vie.

The head to head for this frequent fixture is in favour of the Gas, leading as they do 61 wins to 57 with just 28 draws. We've managed 13 goals across their last five visits to Priestfield and it's a contributor to that total that comprises the highlights. I don't get get to loads of games at Priestfield any longer, but this is one of the last times I saw us truly dominate in the flesh. It was 14 years ago...14 YEARS.

Can't imagine much of a home turnout today to provide ex-BFSE with the guard of honour that the slippery bastard deserves for the way he disrespected our club to engineer his own exit, the fraudulent bag of shite. It's a shame really, even a moderate run of form would have had the home fans baying for blood, but the reality and resignation to our situation has well and truly kicked in. Please just let it end.

Enjoy the game, and...

COYG!!!